Sunday, May 29, 2011

I promise we are not dead!

Wow, I really cannot believe it has been 13 days since my last post. Want to know the reason? I am addicted to blogs! True story. Let me explain. This past month I have finally gotten back into a routine. I wake up no later than 6:15 put on a pot of coffee hop in the shower and then if I am lucky get about 45minutes of chill time. My hope for that time would be to catch up on e-mails, Facebook and this blog. But alas I have spent every minute I can spare reading blogs. I can't stop. I have been spending more time reading about other peoples stories than writing my own. Not that anything is totally wrong with that but I have been feeling a sense that I need to have a balance of the two. I don't want to be someone who is constantly living vicariously through other peoples lives. I want to have a life of my own that I can be excited about.

On the note of living my life, this morning I had a big "Ah Ha!" moment. I think I am using the fact that I have Fibromyalgia as a crutch. You see with my FM I have learned there are certain things I can do to make my every day life a lot more enjoyable and pain free. One of them being sleep. I have noticed that if I get a minimum of 8-9hrs of sleep at night my days are much more tolerable if not perfect! Now on the surface you are probably thinking, "Ok, where is the problem Stacy". The problem is that here at camp everything happens at night. It is at night that friendships blossom, it is the time where the interns hang out and enjoy camp life together. I have been in the mindset of, go to work, eat dinner go home and sleep. And tomorrow do it all over again. And I tell myself and others that it "Has to be this way in order for me to live a healthy life". But I don't know if that is true any more. I haven't tested it. I haven't tried to stay up. For all I know God may have healed me in ways I could never know because I just keep living my life in fear. I believe if I continue on this path there is no way I can truly enjoy life this summer to its full potential. I will not be living a story worth sharing. So as I write this I am putting down for all to see that I am going to take a leap of faith and live my life. Without fear, without hesitation, fully and wholeheartedly grab life by the horns and LIVE!

Just like in the blogs that I read I want to be addicted to my own life. And that cannot happen if I don't simply enjoy the opportunities that are set forth for me. And I wish the same for you! Don't let yourself get caught up in other peoples exciting lives. I encourage you to look at your own life and see areas where you may not be living it to the fullest. We all have the opportunity to have an exciting life. Its up to each one of us to choose to live it!

The sun is finally shining and with my new found freedom I believe it is going to be a great day!

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